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| Re: Proofing and Editing: CLARITY is my concern [message #37377 is a reply to message #37357 ] |
Sat, 25 April 2009 16:40   |
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 Diane Castle
Messages: 2505
Registered: September 2007
Location: Oregon, USA |
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I personally like that each character has a different style of prose. (Meaning, most authors write one way.) I think it would look weird if Jade or Billie came across the same way as Ayla. That's why, when I edit other Canon stuff, I try hard to leave the style intact, while I'm changing minor grammar and spelling stuff (and looking for Plot Holes, continuity errors, blah blah blah).
Things like the length of sentences, and the ways sentences are composited? I regard those as style, since I'm not writing them for a journal article or a business letter (or an English exam  ).
Diane
"WHO has deactivated my BEAUTIFUL frogs?"
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| Re: Proofing and Editing: CLARITY is my concern [message #37398 is a reply to message #31180 ] |
Sat, 25 April 2009 23:11 |
VeryZenn
Messages: 114
Registered: April 2009
Location: The barren wastes of the ... |
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And a couple little typos from the vastly amusing
"It's good to be the Don."
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Hand, Toni and Nikki made their way to the Alpha's table, all too aware that there were more eyes on them than such a minor event warranted. "Hank," Nikki whispered, "what are we DOING?"
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Probably meant: Hank
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"Maybe in YOUR 'cause it's all the people that you make a hobby out of feel like shit."
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Maybe meant: case (I'm really not sure on this one)
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"Not her fault. That's just the hand that we was dealt."
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Probably meant: he or she
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| Re: Proofing and Editing: CLARITY is my concern [message #37415 is a reply to message #31180 ] |
Sun, 26 April 2009 01:15 |
VeryZenn
Messages: 114
Registered: April 2009
Location: The barren wastes of the ... |
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And now
"Toni and the Tiger"
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Besides, I since you can't wear that ring anymore, I sort of owe you something
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Probably want to just drop the "I"
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"Long story- I'll tell you about it some time." She finished scraping out metal from the inside of the ring, but it was still too large to fit my finger.
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Probably meant: small (unless you were referring to the amount of metal in the ring but either way the sentence is a bit confusing.
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but I don't know it' thing going for him. "Well now, we can have THAT..."
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Possibly meant: can't
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Nikki was sitting our usual desk, arranging her notes.
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Possibly: "at our usual desk"
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She was born with stunted limbs, like those children who took Thalidomide.
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This is just a nitpick. Ignore it as you will: Kids didn't take Thalidomide. Their mothers did and that caused the birth defects. Maybe this is a misunderstanding on Silver's part.
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She started pick at the tendrils,
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Maybe: picking or to pick
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"Maybe. But believe me, some of use know better."
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Probably meant: us
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"Well, no--- but if Toni says that she saw something, then she saw something.
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Needs the end quote
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