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The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52393] Wed, 25 January 2012 03:45 Go to next message
darthdavid  is currently offline darthdavid
Messages: 27
Registered: January 2012

Hi everyone! I've been reading the stories here for a while now, finally got inspired to write something of my own. This is gonna end up being a slight crossover. I've not been doing much in the way of creative writing lately so any comments and constructive criticism are welcome.

The next scene isn't written yet but I have a good idea of where the story's going so it shouldn't take too long.

[Updated on: Wed, 25 January 2012 03:48]

Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52397 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 10:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
grover  is currently offline grover
Messages: 566
Registered: July 2006
Location: Clearwater, FL
This could be the lead in for almost any kind of TG themed story. I rather enjoyed it. Ah John Delancie, those were the days, Q!
Grover


Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52399 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 11:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
deanec64  is currently offline deanec64
Messages: 12
Registered: July 2011
nice beginning Smile
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52408 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 13:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
beyogi  is currently offline beyogi
Messages: 950
Registered: May 2011
Location: Germany
This story seems to be quite interesting so far. I guess Mister omnipotent transdimensional being could have explained what the hell was wrong, but it might be a major plotpoint of the following story or simply device to get a person from our world into the whateley verse.

I can't wait to see how the new formed heroine will explore the new world. I wonder if she'll have some light powers.

thank you for writing this interesting story. I hope there will be a new chapter soon Wink


Never think to have thought, since the thinking of thoughts is thoughtless thinking.
You think!
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52411 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 15:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
awjs  is currently offline awjs
Messages: 524
Registered: May 2011
Location: U.S.A.
Well, this story seems nice so far.
A powerful being suddenly whisking you off to Whateleyverse, I've imagined that a lot happening to me (both with and without the gender swap). So this story has definitely caught my interest.
Of course I am just assuming that is what happened, the different cars and houses are what suggest that to me.


‘luck in good finds’ -from Test Tube Babies
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52414 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 16:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
darthdavid  is currently offline darthdavid
Messages: 27
Registered: January 2012

I've been doing a bit of research and finalizing a few things (both for the crossover and Whateley aspects of the story) and I should be ready to actually start writing later today. Expect another snippet tonight or tomorrow.
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52424 is a reply to message #52393 ] Wed, 25 January 2012 23:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
darthdavid  is currently offline darthdavid
Messages: 27
Registered: January 2012

First part of Chapter 1 is up, the crossover reveals itself. I've not got a beta and I haven't exactly been super thorough in my proof-reading tonight, so if you spot any errors or things that could be improved please let me know. Thanks for reading!

[Updated on: Wed, 25 January 2012 23:46]

Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52426 is a reply to message #52424 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 00:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rathmun  is currently offline Rathmun
Messages: 91
Registered: October 2011
darthdavid wrote on Wed, 25 January 2012 23:42
First part of Chapter 1 is up, the crossover reveals itself. I've not got a beta and I haven't exactly been super thorough in my proof-reading tonight, so if you spot any errors or things that could be improved please let me know. Thanks for reading!


I suspected as much. Really, "Sinking Sun's Light," "filled with liquid sunlight," Warmth upon the brow.

I really really hope you find a way to do this crossover justice without turning either the Whateley cast or a Twilight Caste into punks. (for those unfamilliar with Exalted, the Solars were the greatest of a group of living weapons created to kill things like Starstalker, only those things were also effectively duplicators.)

As a Twilight Caste, she'd probably be somewhere around a G8/Dev8/Wiz8/En?/Ex? along with a host of other potential shenanigans. At least, she will once she gets some proper experience.

Good luck and best wishes to your attempt.

[Updated on: Thu, 26 January 2012 00:36]

Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52433 is a reply to message #52426 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 03:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
mrudat  is currently offline mrudat
Messages: 190
Registered: May 2011
Location: Canberra, Australia

I suspect that, in the Whateley Universe, an exalted would be (from what little I understand of the system from third hand information), a Paladin of whichever power exalted them.

Without bothering to go check, I believe a Paladin is more-or-less an Avatar playing host to a subset of a entity too powerful for them (or any single Avatar) to hold. I suspect that there is probably some upper limit to how much power can be infused into any particular avatar, and I'd imagine that an Exalted would exceed the limits of even the most powerful of avatars, thus, limiting the shiny new character's powers to merely game-breaking, rather than world-ending. =)
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52436 is a reply to message #52433 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 04:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
darthdavid  is currently offline darthdavid
Messages: 27
Registered: January 2012

mrudat wrote on Thu, 26 January 2012 03:37
I suspect that, in the Whateley Universe, an exalted would be (from what little I understand of the system from third hand information), a Paladin of whichever power exalted them.

Without bothering to go check, I believe a Paladin is more-or-less an Avatar playing host to a subset of a entity too powerful for them (or any single Avatar) to hold. I suspect that there is probably some upper limit to how much power can be infused into any particular avatar, and I'd imagine that an Exalted would exceed the limits of even the most powerful of avatars, thus, limiting the shiny new character's powers to merely game-breaking, rather than world-ending. =)

Not quite the same deal but a similar idea, it might even work along those lines if an Avatar Exalted or otherwise got ahold of an exaltation.

Except our intrepid heroine is neither a mutant nor from a world where they even exist, so while she probably will end up classed as a Pseudo-Avatar/Paladin (if only so they have a box they can tick on any relevant paperwork) she's still, technically speaking, more baseline than a baseline as it were (coming from a genepool entirely lacking the metagene). And while she does have the potential to become a real game-breaker it won't be any time soon. The real limiting here factor is going to be time. Solar Exalted have natural lifespans of 2000-3000 years and can live for 5000-7000 years with the right charm. It's gonna take decades of experience and training for her to come into the majority of her power.

A freshly exalted Solar, especially one who's charmset isn't combat focused is powerful, but hardly game breaking. And of course there's always the golden rule of storytelling: the more powerful your protagonist is the more powerful the forces arrayed against them need to be to make an interesting story.

Twisted Evil

[Updated on: Thu, 26 January 2012 04:10]

Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52444 is a reply to message #52436 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 11:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rathmun  is currently offline Rathmun
Messages: 91
Registered: October 2011


darthdavid wrote on Thu, 26 January 2012 04:08

Except our intrepid heroine is neither a mutant nor from a world where they even exist, so while she probably will end up classed as a Pseudo-Avatar/Paladin (if only so they have a box they can tick on any relevant paperwork) she's still, technically speaking, more baseline than a baseline as it were (coming from a genepool entirely lacking the metagene). And while she does have the potential to become a real game-breaker it won't be any time soon. The real limiting here factor is going to be time. Solar Exalted have natural lifespans of 2000-3000 years and can live for 5000-7000 years with the right charm. It's gonna take decades of experience and training for her to come into the majority of her power.

A freshly exalted Solar, especially one who's charmset isn't combat focused is powerful, but hardly game breaking. And of course there's always the golden rule of storytelling: the more powerful your protagonist is the more powerful the forces arrayed against them need to be to make an interesting story.

Twisted Evil



IIRC, the first Solar to ever die of old age in the age of wonders died at fourteen thousand years old. Furthermore, there's no reason for a Solar to ever die of old age given the magics they have available.

Besides, even if she did, without Lytek around, there's no one to trim her memories off the shard, so she gets to have serial reincarnation style immortality too.

Also, a Solar who just wanders off to go meditate on a mountain top (not likely) still only takes a century to become world ending.

Oh, and a starting Solar in a world without Exalts is actually even more frightening if they aren't combat focused. Social and/or crafting and/or shaping charms have a lot more potential to be world-breaking.

Odd thought, apply OOB or WCT to someone with GSD or an undesirable BIT. (finding a wyld zone for WCT might be the hard part.)
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52445 is a reply to message #52393 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 12:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
thejackle123  is currently offline thejackle123
Messages: 41
Registered: August 2011

And speaking of gamebrakers, in the whateley-verse, short of making anyone God, it's nigh impossible. I mean if someone got REALY powerfull, Cuthulu would probably wake up and then you've got some real problems.
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52446 is a reply to message #52445 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 12:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rathmun  is currently offline Rathmun
Messages: 91
Registered: October 2011
thejackle123 wrote on Thu, 26 January 2012 12:01
And speaking of gamebrakers, in the whateley-verse, short of making anyone God, it's nigh impossible. I mean if someone got REALY powerfull, Cuthulu would probably wake up and then you've got some real problems.


If Cthulu woke up the the Whateley canon setting, Tennyo would probably just eat him. Then you'd have to deal with a potentially insane Tennyo though, which is probably worse.


It's also not impossible to take down a solar with sheer weight of numbers (See: Usurpation). It's just horrifically expensive.
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52455 is a reply to message #52393 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 15:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
darthdavid  is currently offline darthdavid
Messages: 27
Registered: January 2012

My Windows install (and possibly one of my hard drives) seems to have committed seppuku so there might be a bit of a delay on the next snippet while I get things sorted.
Re: The Sinking Sun's Light [message #52456 is a reply to message #52455 ] Thu, 26 January 2012 15:26 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Rathmun  is currently offline Rathmun
Messages: 91
Registered: October 2011
darthdavid wrote on Thu, 26 January 2012 15:21
My Windows install (and possibly one of my hard drives) seems to have committed seppuku so there might be a bit of a delay on the next snippet while I get things sorted.


Well damn. Are you anywhere near Ft Collins? I might be able to help.
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