| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45570 is a reply to message #45567 ] |
Thu, 08 September 2011 08:31   |
 Glimmervoid
Messages: 93
Registered: August 2011 |
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| beyogi wrote on Thu, 08 September 2011 12:59 | Very mysterious... Everything was not right with the world ^^
I wonder how his apprentice bond was strenghtened... And there is always an alterative... I wonder what she'd have done if her divination power told her to rip daniels arm off?
Damn and now I have to wait for the next chapter ^^
Thank you for writing this interesting story.
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Thanks. Did you notice that every Part bar the last ended with the exact opposite 'everything was right with the world'? That's what the Part title refers too. On the bond... There are clues that could give you part of the answer but I'm not going to say yet. 
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45574 is a reply to message #45410 ] |
Thu, 08 September 2011 12:15 |
grover
Messages: 565
Registered: July 2006
Location: Clearwater, FL |
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Okay, having more of the story, as well as some more view points I have a few opinions. One, Daniel is something of an ass. He berates Lisa/Crystal for her beliefs, but his own Magic Maths thing is unassailable. Also he has a couple of Aspengers/Autism-like characteristics such as the shower thing, and his clothing. Another is his social ineptness with everything from dealing with Lisa, Mr. Cooper, and his blind spot with his Armor. Yo dude! Just sit down with it and talk some! Work it out. Instead he spent his time in the library working on that magic math sim of the problem. Mostly he comes across as immature which makes sense because he is a teen.
As for the Magic Dept I wonder at exactly what the augury said. If Daniel is changing, then in a year, he won't be him anymore if you know what I mean.
Jumping back to the Aspengers/Autism thing again, knowing how to deal with students like that can be rather difficult. Handling a student who's also learning magic, could be a LOT more difficult. Don't know if that is something he has or not, but it could be.
Just some of my thoughts.
Grover
Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45576 is a reply to message #45410 ] |
Thu, 08 September 2011 12:44 |
Glimmervoid
Messages: 93
Registered: August 2011 |
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Daniel is defiantly meant to come across as arrogant and very certain that his way is the best and, indeed, only way, but I don't think its Autism. Maybe TV Autism but not the real thing. Daniel doesn't really have a hard time dealing with people or making friends, though it's true sometimes he just can't be bothered. What he has is a hard time with is people who hold views he's classes as 'stupid'. He can get along find with people he agrees with or even people he doesn't agree with as long as they don't fall into one the 'stupid' beliefs; it's the rest of the world who has a problem.
Some things - like magimaths, a scientific approach to magic and similar - are just so obviously right for him that he has a hard time understanding why others can't accept them. In part this is because for him they are right. No questions ask. Daniel's wiz-trait could have been tailor made for his kind of detail orientated hermetic wizardry. His Essence is of a comparatively high energy (good for force and energy spells) and very flavourless (no warping the spells). And his visualization gift makes magimaths as simple as thinking.
On the topic of Crystal... It may be enlightening to look back at their first in-story meeting. Notice how they are more or less making the same arguments to each other, just from different points of view. Crystal dodges Daniel's question with one of her own, so Daniel does the exact same right back. Crystal is meant to be a sort of foil to Daniel, if slightly less forth right than he is.
The Redhead/Cooper is a special case for plot reasons I'm not going to go into. You'll find out more in Arc 2.
Edit: Added a sentence.
[Updated on: Thu, 08 September 2011 13:26]
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45594 is a reply to message #45587 ] |
Fri, 09 September 2011 04:38 |
Glimmervoid
Messages: 93
Registered: August 2011 |
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| sadael wrote on Fri, 09 September 2011 00:41 | Curiouser and curiouser! as Alice said the master apprentice is bond is just supposed to be a formality a basic agreement to teach and in return learn
If Daniel's is stronger then how much must the faculty teach to fulfil there part in the bargain this oath in theory would surely have been created to protect both master and apprentice
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Well Circe did say 'what the other end of that very same bond might demand' and Miss Grimes does seem to be working a lot of weekends...
| sadael | PS: I loved the description of the Three Little Witches class
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Yes, that was very fun to write.
| A-Eadie wrote on Fri, 09 September 2011 02:37 | Loved the first arc, and can't wait for the second to start! So many questions that we want answered . . .
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Thanks.
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45844 is a reply to message #45411 ] |
Fri, 16 September 2011 20:56 |
Elaborate
Messages: 37
Registered: June 2011
Location: Sweden |
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Good story 
The idea of a magical power-armor is refreshing. I look forward to explorations of the differences between devise-based armor, gadgeteer armor (are there any in this class?) and magic-based armor. Magic-based armor should be harder to disable, for one thing...
Also refreshing: to follow a character with real, glaring flaws. (Ooh, sometimes I'd really like to smack Daniel upside the head - but his various acts of stupidity are consistent with his character, and thus acceptable to me as a reader.)
I rather liked the bit in the beginning, following the entity's thoughts, and then her rather confused communications with Daniel.
On the whole, I think this is one of the better stories I've read here, and I'm rather looking forward to act 2.
Oh, and since I'm a bit on the nitpicky side, I kept a running list of various typos I spotted. I hope you'll find it useful
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the coroners of his soul -> corners
our more excisable residents -> excitable
did not say Daniel -> Daniel did not say
just be quite ->quiet
scientific analyse -> analysis
pectoral mussels -> muscles
communicate with you in some is perfectly normal
a lot let flight time -> less
The Captain wrenched his fist clear of the wall and tuned -> turned
a few more notches Daniel's near falls
a GSD cases -> case
not New Wizards true <- needs a comma
what are you going to do about?
proper safe guards -> safeguards
speeder -> speedster (seems to be the common Whateley term)
It sound -> sounded
I was preforming -> performing
new pastured -> pastures
Let Tux deal with freeing the trapped magical knowledge of the world was his motto
so to was -> too
the say way -> same
garbing on to things -> grabbing
shinny things -> shiny
paper think -> paper-thin
farrowed -> furrowed
rapped around -> wrapped
visible exhausted -> visibly
to leaver himself -> lever
that small moment -> movement
put it place
the likes of Decide -> Deicide
the likely hood -> likelihood
Nick Nack -> Knick-knack
it was defiantly not a little ominous -> definitely
First one the cards
I made my chose -> choice
shear necessity -> sheer
the ritual still very complicated
you best subject -> your
a scary though -> thought
connected too it -> to
immanent -> imminent
outside his couscous control <- this typo made me giggle
not atoll -> at all
preform -> perform
If you're hurry -> you
Thank your sir -> you
I thought you Miss Grimes
I'm talking out testing -> about?
say out of head-to-head power contest -> stay, contests
the prefect shower -> perfect
eideic -> eidetic
rapping -> wrapping
key board -> keyboard
good byes -> goodbyes
bi-laws -> by-laws
be large than -> larger
summery -> summary
That broke the damn. -> dam
one part one -> of
in to it -> into
Itt-esk -> Itt-esque
the odd emphasize -> emphasis
treated occupationally -> occasionally
defiantly more comfortable -> definitely
without you stick was days
an existing on -> one?
a thousand times worst -> worse
he'd sort of imaged <- imagined/pictured fits better
brought to like -> life
shake of -> off
He is luck he has survived -> he is lucky to have survived
A lot of are students -> our
the dangerous the world -> dangers
"Speak only if it improves upon the silence."
-Mohandas Gandhi
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45853 is a reply to message #45410 ] |
Sat, 17 September 2011 09:33 |
Glimmervoid
Messages: 93
Registered: August 2011 |
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| Laudator wrote on Sat, 10 September 2011 23:34 | Praises to your literary efforts!
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Thanks on your commenting efforts.
| AmyAmethyst wrote on Tue, 13 September 2011 05:07 | Oh noes! I just found this story and read it to the end of Arc one and now I am going to have to wait for more?!
Aaaaaaaarrrrr(Great story, by the way)rrrrgggggghhhh!!
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Thanks and unfortunately yes. Arc 2 is in the works, though.
| Elaborate wrote on Sat, 17 September 2011 01:56 | Good story
The idea of a magical power-armor is refreshing. I look forward to explorations of the differences between devise-based armor, gadgeteer armor (are there any in this class?) and magic-based armor. Magic-based armor should be harder to disable, for one thing...
Also refreshing: to follow a character with real, glaring flaws. (Ooh, sometimes I'd really like to smack Daniel upside the head - but his various acts of stupidity are consistent with his character, and thus acceptable to me as a reader.)
I rather liked the bit in the beginning, following the entity's thoughts, and then her rather confused communications with Daniel.
On the whole, I think this is one of the better stories I've read here, and I'm rather looking forward to act 2.
Oh, and since I'm a bit on the nitpicky side, I kept a running list of various typos I spotted. I hope you'll find it useful
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Thanks and thanks for the corrections. I've edited the story. We're going to see more the the armour's spirit in Arc 2. Can't tell you more than that, though. Too many spoilers.
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45864 is a reply to message #45410 ] |
Sat, 17 September 2011 16:54 |
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Nicky82
Messages: 1404
Registered: May 2011 |
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Personally I think that Daniel has gone in the wrong direction by developing his armor to emulate a technological powered armor, in my opinion it should have developed it to be an extenction of his body and mind, powering it up and shutting it down just by willing it to do so, same for trowing witchbolts and flying, also the simulated hud is a nice touch but he should have thought at something like a feedback that would allow him to feel how much essence is left in the capacitors and how much power is being spent by the various functions; but than maybe modeling a neural interface in magimaths is too complex and probably the feedback is even harder to pull off, Daniel's magical system of choice isn't known for it's flexibility.
A question, has Daniel also given the armor a nightvision function? If not it should have along to a function to keep the wearer confortable during prolonged use.
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45867 is a reply to message #45864 ] |
Sat, 17 September 2011 17:55 |
Glimmervoid
Messages: 93
Registered: August 2011 |
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| Nicky82 wrote on Sat, 17 September 2011 21:54 | Personally I think that Daniel has gone in the wrong direction by developing his armor to emulate a technological powered armor, in my opinion it should have developed it to be an extenction of his body and mind, powering it up and shutting it down just by willing it to do so, same for trowing witchbolts and flying, also the simulated hud is a nice touch but he should have thought at something like a feedback that would allow him to feel how much essence is left in the capacitors and how much power is being spent by the various functions; but than maybe modeling a neural interface in magimaths is too complex and probably the feedback is even harder to pull off, Daniel's magical system of choice isn't known for it's flexibility.
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Linking the armour's powers directly to him has one major problem from Daniel's point of view: it would require him to be the one in the Ley Line tap ritual. Even Daniel's not quite arrogant enough to think he can pull that one off. Also, basing his armour after technology is just how Daniel's mind works. A suit of power armour is a lot more real to Daniel that a wand waving mumbo jumbo or even a Pk-superman field. Technological armour just makes a more sensible base for him.
As to the feed back... It might be possible. While mind based feedback would likely be out of Daniel's reach, Daniel isn't the only person in the world using magimaths. Someone else might have devoted the past ten years to working out how to do it. It's not beyond reason that Daniel could find them and buy the spell.
Even barring this route, he could have created something tactile. The pressure on his nose might be how full the capacitor, example, the heat on his cheek force field strength. But Daniel didn't go that route. It's partly an artifact of basing the armour off its technological counterparts, partly because Daniel is a visual person (it would be hard not to be given his visualization gift) and partly because a visual display can give far more precise information than other methods. That last appeals to Daniel at lot.
| Quote: | A question, has Daniel also given the armor a nightvision function? If not it should have along to a function to keep the wearer confortable during prolonged use.
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Daniel didn't design the armour with night vision, no. It has climate control (though it's not as good as, say, Reach's suit) but that's about it. It does get annoying to wear after a few hours. As we see in the story, Daniel really wants to get it off if forced to wear it for more than just his two 'armour' classes. If we come down to it, a much larger problem is the lack of bathroom facilities. Going to the toilet involves taking the armour off, unless you go the astronaut style diaper route anyway.
[Updated on: Sat, 17 September 2011 17:57]
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| Re: Daniel Archwood [message #45870 is a reply to message #45867 ] |
Sat, 17 September 2011 18:04 |
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Nicky82
Messages: 1404
Registered: May 2011 |
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| Glimmervoid wrote on Sat, 17 September 2011 23:55 | Linking the armour's powers directly to him has one major problem from Daniel's point of view: it would require him to be the one in the Ley Line tap ritual. Even Daniel's not quite arrogant enough to think he can pull that one off.
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Linking the armor directly to him? I was speaking about the armor reading the wearer's mind and acting according to his/her will.
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